Achieving Co-parenting Success By Pushing Through The Awkward.

I am a single mum to three amazing kids and have been navigating the post-separation world for a couple of years now. Thanks to my experience as a family lawyer (and a fair bit of trial and error), my ex and I have found some out of the box ways to keep our co-parenting game strong. Just a heads up, though: my ex is a genuinely decent person, so these tips might not fit every situation, especially if there is family violence or a personality disorder involved.

Hug in front of the kids

Okay, so it might sound weird, but showing a little affection in front of the kids can actually work wonders. It’s all about showing them that, even though the romance part is over, there can still be respect and love. A hug here and there can be a powerful way to model healthy relationships for the kids. For example,  at changeover at Christmas time when I was going to New Zealand on my own for a week, my ex gave me a hug in front of the kids to wish me a good trip.

Have a coffee date

With three kids, all with their own unique needs (two are on the autism spectrum and have ADHD), staying on the same page is key. So, my ex and I catch up over coffee weekly to touch base and make sure we’re supporting each other and our kids the best we can. Whether it’s at home or our favourite café, these coffee chats help keep our co-parenting smooth. This might be overkill for you, but we are big on communication. Consider once a month to begin with.

Team Spirit at Kids’ Events

When our schedules allow, we will go to one of the kids’ activities or events all together in the same car. It sends a clear message: we’re still a family, just in a new way. You’ll see us cheering on our eldest at competitive roller-skating, supporting our middle child at karate grading or in the audience at one of our youngest’s singing gigs. Being there together makes all the difference.

Awkward? Sure. Worth It? Absolutely.

Yes it can feel awkward. But pushing through those weird moments is the perfect opportunity to show our kids that you can repair in relationship, even when things get tough. My own parents split when I was 7 under not-so-great circumstances, and if you told me back then that they’d be hanging out in my kitchen, mum cooking and dad changing a light bulb, I would have laughed. But as it turns out, strangers things have happened!

Every family’s journey through co-parenting is unique, but I’ve found that leaning into the awkwardness, showing a bit of affection, and making time for each other can seriously pay off. It’s all about showing the kids (and maybe reminding ourselves) that family doesn’t have to fit a mould to be full of love and support.